Canta’s 2023 sex position olympics

One thing everybody can seemingly get behind (pun totally intended) is that no one wants to have shit sex.  But when activities in the bedroom become more aerobic than erotic, or you find yourself daydreaming about your flat budget whilst in the middle of doing the deed, it might be time to switch things up. Classic positions such as Missionary, 69 and Doggy are all well-known positions in the sex scene, but do these position really leave you texting, “Holy fuck, I have literally had the best sex of my life” to your best mate? 

So, whether you are getting bored of the same old missionary or are simply just curious to get a bit more insight into which positions can get you and your partner across the finish line. Canta sets out to expose all the pros, all the cons and let some of our infamous positions battle it out in our 2023 Canta Positions Olympics.

Missionary

When it comes to sex, everybody has heard of the classic missionary.  Usually characterised by one partner on top of the other, face-to-face style, missionary is a position commonly tossed around and seen onscreen in porn and the movies. One anonymous student going by the name SexLuver1300 mentions that missionary is an “oldie but a goodie” and enjoys that missionary “allows her male partner to be dominant”. Whereas another anonymous student PussySlay3r69 mentions that missionary is “a bit mid.”

Buzzfeed labelled this position as a meagre 1 out of 10 for impressiveness but did mention that it is a low-pressure position that is easy to approach as a beginner. So, if you are into something a bit more romantic and low stress, maybe the mighty missionary could be the one for you.

Reverse Cowgirl

Although PussySlay3r69 was not that keen on missionary, they exclaimed their absolute pure joy for the Reverse Cowgirl. They mentioned that it allows them to, “take control and feel empowered.” Although the keen cowgirl didn’t rate the fact that the position does, “leave them with a view of the wall, which is kinda average,” but believes that the position allowing her to assert her dominance makes up for it 100%.

Interestingly enough, the reverse cowgirl has been deemed the “world’s most dangerous sex position” by UK-based surgeon Dr. Karan Raj. If being both risky and risqué is more your type of thing, the reverse cowgirl might be worth a shot! Yeehaw!

Doggy

Doggy is usually characterised by one partner on all fours with the other partner able to thrust from behind.  Doggy is widely regarded as perhaps one of the more impersonal and animalistic positions, with both partners unable to share face-to-face connection.  All the women I interviewed regarding Doggy found the infamous position to not promote a feeling of connectedness to the partner, not aiding in them being able to finish easily.

Despite the slightly negative response doggie seems to have received from our anonymous students, Doggy is still rated as one of the top sex positions amongst New Zealanders in the 2017 sex survey conducted by Adult Toy Megastore’s Mega Kiwi Sex Survey.

Speedbump

Speedbump could be considered Doggy’s cooler, more sophisticated older cousin; characterised by one partner face down, ass up with the other partner thrusting from behind in a sort of plank-ish position. PillowPrince$$47, another anonymous student believes that speedbump, “kinda slays” but sometimes feels that her, “face being smooshed into the pillow is a bit uncomfortable.”

SexLuver1300 loves the position, mentioning that the “heavy breathing from behind is so damn hot.” Speedbump gets brownie points for its originality and for its very appropriate name. If the same old cycle of Doggy is getting a bit repetitive, give speedbump a test drive. Get that gearstick into action!

69

69 is an orally stimulating sex position, not involving the “classic” penetration, but instead involving the two partners, one on top of each other, with each partner giving eachother head.

A collective opinion shared amongst individuals is that in both partners being orally stimulated, it can be hard to simply enjoy the climax due to having to put in work whilst simultaneously receiving. The dual attempt to reach the finish line can be self-sabotaging, instead, making the whole process slower, more stressful and, honestly, not helping one to finish easily.

And sidenote: with inflation, our 69 will soon turn into a 96 with the prices of eating out going up. 69 scores points in originality for being the only position that doesn’t require penetration to help get each other off but loses points for the significant amount of stress that can be induced.

Final considerations

Although we were only able to list and analyse a few sex positions above, the realm of wild and whacky sex positions is something constantly being explored. The “classics” above are only a snapshot into the type of positions to try out in the bedroom. And as for the winner of sex positions for the 2023 Canta positions Olympics… well, we will let you decide. Maybe you yourself are a missionary fiend, or an absolute slut for 69, or maybe good ol’ Doggy is more your style. One thing is for sure, sex is different for everybody and what feels good varies from person to person.  

So, stay safe, use protection, and don’t be afraid to get experimenting, who knows…maybe you yourself will produce the next best sex position that leaves you breathless, sweaty, and racing to text to your best mate, “Holy fuck, I have just had the most earth-shattering sex of my life.”