Which Love Island icons are our political parties?
Will Young, contestant on Season 9 of Love Island.
ACT - Will Young, Season 9
Season 9 of Love Island didn’t give us a lot if I’m honest. It wasn’t a particularly thrilling season and being in the winter, it put us all into a Love Island-induced coma from excessive content. But it did deliver to the world one weird yet loveable man - farmer boy Will Young aka David Seymour’s twin.
Not only is the physical resemblance uncanny, but their personalities are eerily similar. Funnily enough, both have back and spine issues from carrying their respective Love Island season and political party almost entirely on their own.
Will probably isn’t someone you’d introduce to your parents, nor is David necessarily someone you’d want repping the country on the very serious world stage but hey, they sure do keep us entertained.
Labour - Jake Cornish & Liberty Poole, Season 7
Just like our current governing party, Jake and Libby started out strong, being coupled up from the outset. Cracks started to show in the aftermath of ‘movie night’ where it was revealed that Jake told other contestants that Liberty was messy and he, “didn’t want to rip her clothes off.”
In the New Zealand political realm, the derailment from Casa Amor could be similar to the repercussions of the Covid-19 pandemic, even years later. Labour’s response to issues surrounding Covid was reassuring us with the classic “team of 5 million” line. Jake’s equivalent to Libby’s concerns was reminding her, “but you’re my girlfriend.” Eventually though, both statements landed on deaf ears.
Labour is facing the lowest polling numbers in 20 years, with an interim Prime Minister trying to fill the shoes of Jacinda while their members in Cabinet are dropping like flies. It didn’t work out for Jake and Libby, but maybe Labour will pull it off?
Greens - Maura Higgins, Season 5
“Why yer asking her dat?!”
Ah, classic Maura Higgins. An honest patron of the cold hard truth, both Maura and the Greens party have more in common than one might think. Neither are afraid to tell people what they really think and end up in a little more drama because of it.
Turns out the Greens are deeply honest, even about their own colleagues. The entire ‘wrong group chat’ debacle, where Chloe Swarbrick was called a “cry-baby” by someone in her own party, was a lesson in what happens when honesty isn’t always the best policy - something Maura never learned either.
National - Molly-Mae Hague, Season 5
Easily the most recognisable and most successful islander to come out of the villa, Molly-Mae is the face of Love Island. National have held office in New Zealand longer than any other political party with 47 years under their belt. Even though Molly-Mae is finished with her time in the villa and National weren’t elected in 2020, they’re both still hold a lot of power and respect. It’s a big thing to liken Molly-Mae to a political party, but honestly this list would not be complete without her, so here we are.
New Conservatives - Lucinda Strafford, Season 7
The New Conservatives Party. Nobody hears that much from them, being a minority party and all. If I had to liken them to a Love Island icon, I would have to say they’re giving very much Lucinda Strafford vibes. A little ditsy, a little confused, a little behind, but still likeable to the right audience. And if nothing else, the New Conservatives keep New Zealand media in business and the general population entertained.
Hailing from Sussex, Lucinda’s dialect resulted in some infamous quotes like “rEEEally” and “you’re jOOOking.” Something the New Conservatives are surely thinking to themselves as they sit in Parliament.
Te Pāti Māori - Whitney Adebayo, Season 10
Whitney is the best thing to come out of this seasons’ Love Island. That girl speaks her mind and for that we are forever grateful. She knows what she wants and goes after it, much like Te Pāti Māori. Ready and willing to call out any bs from other political parties, Te Pāti Māori are taking a leaf from Whitneys’ book.
Whitney is always standing up for her friends (unless that friend is Ella in which case, she’s gonna call you the most selfish person she’s ever met in front of all the girl islanders) but she stands up for herself too. Te Pāti Māori advocate for people and their party and to quote Whitney, “It’s giving growth.”
The Opportunities Party - Leah Taylor, Season 10
There's some people on Love Island that are just… there. The ones that don’t get a lot of screen time, who aren’t necessarily bad, but maybe just a little bit bland for Love Island. One of this years’ bombshells, Leah Taylor, was one such character. Not much of a personality from that one, and TOP give off similar vibes. There’s some good policies for sure, but people don’t have a lot of time for them as they’re so unlikely to ever get a majority vote in an election.
Not to say Leah isn’t popular - her Instagram following jumped from 38k to over 200k during her time in the villa - but clearly the public didn’t think she was a good fit for the island. Here’s to hoping the public aren’t as ruthless towards TOP.
New Zealand First - Kem Cetinay and Chris Hughes, Season 5
From their infamous ‘That’s Not Me’ rap to shaving each other’s initials into their pubes, Kem and Chris were truly inseparable. Even though Kem ended up winning the season with Amber Davies, their bromance was the true W from the show. On a seemingly unrelated but still very relevant note, the bromance is not too dissimilar from Winston Peters and voters aged over 65.
While Kem and Chris’ romantic relationships were on the rocks, their friendship kept them on the island. Retirees are to Winston Peters what Kem is to Chris - keeping their career afloat when they probably should’ve gone home a while ago.
