Let’s Talk Tall Poppy
Dr. Seuss blessed the world with a quote that encompasses the essence of growing up, why fit in when you were born stand out?
This rhetorical question, however, has not been powerful enough to conquer a social phenomenon that suppresses confidence and celebration in Aotearoa: Tall Poppy Syndrome.
This floral belief system comes from the idea that when flowers are growing taller than other flowers, they will be cut down to ensure that all flowers are on the same level. It is like levelling the playing field and equaling competition. Due to being such a small country, this ideology has sustained throughout time, where humility has become one of Aotearoa’s most attractive traits.
Confidence and celebration may be the two ingredients lacking in Aotearoa’s recipe for success, as a country and as individuals.
Tall Poppy Talk podcast host Grace Lewis reinvigorates the conversation around the profound presence of the syndrome in Aotearoa, inviting some of the tallest poppies around Aotearoa and internationally to share their hot takes on the fiery phenomenon.
Lewis dives into the presence of the syndrome in our day-to-day lives. “We chop ourselves down before we give other people the opportunity to do it. And I honestly think it prevents us as a society from progressing.”
Lewis was my high school Head Girl; she has since graduated from Rutgers University in the heart of New Jersey. After completing her undergraduate degree with a double major in Communications and Labour Relations, she further strengthened her list of qualifications by completing her master’s in political science concentrated on the United Nations.
Lewis is no stranger to success nor humility; her accolades include being a Head Student, many speedy marathon times, countless rowing medals, and an incredibly special sport scholarship to a prestigious American university.
Despite the absence of broadcasting studies, her desire to enter this field was strong, so the idea of starting a podcast lingered on her mind. The origins of the podcast date back to November of 2022, after she had completed her rowing scholarship. She felt as if rowing had engulfed her whole identity, she battled with symptoms of Tall Poppy Syndrome as her heart desired to do something out of her comfort zone.
“I was thinking, well, what are other people going to say? And then, honestly, I had this realisation. Not to be dramatic, but when I'm at the end of my days, am I going to [say], ‘I held back on what I wanted to pursue because of maybe what other people thought […]’. Suddenly, when you put it in that context, it [is] ludicrous.”
Lewis has spoken to more than sixty successful people, with some big household names such as Actress Kimberley Crossman, Radio DJ Jay Reeve, Rower Eric Murray, and Fox News presenter Mike Emanuel.
She explains how her interview with Crossman was “pivotal” for her, as she embodied authenticity and kindness whilst not being jaded by the industry, which Lewis seemed to really admire.
Crossman comments on her Tall Poppy perspective, stating that “ultimately, it highlights our insecurities or lack of, when someone does well as opposed to coming from the mindset that there’s enough to go around and the sky is the limit.”
Crossman is a prime example of an Aotearoa celebrity that uses her confidence in her stride and continues to flourish. Voices like hers not only inspire Lewis as the interviewer, but inspire anyone who’s listening, as she’s living, breathing proof that Tall Poppy Syndrome does not have to be a barrier to success.
“Tall Poppy is also people thinking [that], ‘your success is a threat to mine’. And we can't both be successful. So it's only one of us, whereas it's not the case at all. In fact, the more successful you get, the more successful I can get. And we can grow together,” Lewis continued.
Lewis explains the presence of Tall Poppy Syndrome in her life when she moved across the globe to America to compete in high-level rowing at Rutgers. “In New Zealand, we prioritise humility. You might succeed, but you're like, ‘oh, it was nothing.’ You quietly work towards stuff and you have your successes, but you keep quiet about it. Whereas in the States, you're actually losing out on opportunities if you're not boasting.”
Lewis learnt quickly that in order to succeed in her rowing, she needed to back herself in a way she hadn’t before.
“If a kiwi rocks in and we're trying to be humble, we're just not going to get heard. So I realised pretty quickly […], ‘oh, if I'm not backing myself, and kind of advocating for myself, I'm gonna lose out on opportunities’.”
She brings up an intriguing point about Americans’ ability to take a breath, and bathe in their successes, rather than move on to the next thing quietly – as Kiwis tend to do.
“It seemed fake at first, where I was on the East Coast, that people were genuinely super excited and proud about other people's success. And I was like, ‘okay, settle down.’ I could literally feel that Tall Poppy-ness in me being like, ‘okay, we get it, you're fast or you're smart’. And you start realising, ‘oh no, they're just happy. And they want to share that moment and experience with other people’.”
Hearing Lewis’ experience with the celebration of success is so refreshing, bringing new life to something that should be celebrated.
There’s an undeniable sense of confidence in America, and to us Kiwis, we can classify that as plain arrogance. But once you shift the lens when comparing Aotearoa to America, the way we withhold ourselves from excelling in society is illuminated – and the effects of Tall Poppy shine bright.
Lewis makes note to mention, “I never want people to think that I think it's bad in New Zealand. It's just very different.”
And she’s right, it is just different. Who’s to say that we as a society need to completely pick up a new ideology like Americans? Instead, it appears more valuable to introduce conversations between peers, to acknowledge how Tall Poppy Syndrome may be holding us back.
As we approach a new tertiary year, it’s of great need that us students transgress, and consciously shift our perspectives of ourselves and others to enable a society that flourishes instead of one that wilts. Lewis explains that “typically, as a society, we think that Tall Poppy Syndrome is cutting people down when they succeed too much.”
“I actually don't see us doing that a lot to others, as much as we do it to ourselves.”
Tall Poppy Syndrome cannot be tackled without the initial acknowledgement of the syndrome, followed by conversations with relevant people in your lives to attempt to counteract the feelings of being an imposter in your own skin. Throughout Lewis’ podcast, she gathers the knowledge that having important people around you is a central healing and helping factor.
“It is inevitable, internally and externally. But the biggest thing is there are people and their voices who are going to back you and remind you that there’s a place for you.”
In Tall Poppy Talk, Lewis emphasises the normality of these feelings amongst many people globally. Lewis highlights this as the leading point she would like people to take away, even from listening to just one or two episodes. She elaborates, “because if one person listens to any guests I have, or even if the guests themselves leaves it, feeling better about themselves and like, proud of themselves. It's huge. Like, that is the biggest thing. And that's what gets me like, so excited.”
She acknowledges the lack of resourced mental health help in Aotearoa. But she encourages the idea of finding a safe person amongst the other Poppies, as it is integral to counteracting the symptoms of Tall Poppy Syndrome. “That's when those volumes change, the negative and the positive start to level out and hopefully the positive starts to surpass the negative.”
Her qualifications alone emit a storm of intelligence, but it truly is her positive and friendly energy that’s the star of her show. Tall Poppy Talk is a conversation that will never go to waste, and a topic that has affected the souls of many. So let Grace Lewis light the fire in your minds about your own relationship with Tall Poppy Syndrome.
You can find the podcast on Spotify and Apple Podcasts as Tall Poppy Talk, and on Instagram @tallpoppytalk.