The Politics of Porn
The main intent of pornography is to encourage sexual excitement. Source: George Mel / Wikimedia Commons
Porn has always been a very interesting topic of conversation. It’s everywhere, in so many different formats, and you’re quite guaranteed to find exactly what you’re searching for. In porn, your kinks and preferences are available to explore.
But its mainstream presence is still taboo, with pornography tied to issues around intimacy, underage exposure to content, and warped perceptions of sex. Another concern is how pornography may affect romantic relationships and create a divide between partners based on unrealistic expectations.
Sex Therapist and author, Dr. Gloria Brame, mentioned how “conflicts about porn are one of the top reasons couples reach out to sex therapists.”
This may be due to the challenges that originate from consistent and damaging porn exposure, such as enabling an addiction - which can disrupt work, finances, and personal connections. Like with many addictive behaviours, porn cannot be used as a tool to cope with stressful experiences and anxiety.
“Couples who are equally comfortable with porn generally use it to enhance their sex lives; whether to add spice, provide visual stimulation for foreplay, or get creative ideas on how to have hotter sex,” said Brame.
“Studies have repeatedly shown there are no ill effects from couples or individuals watching porn – but personal beliefs, forced secrecy, rejection by their partner, and shame are extremely hurtful to themselves, their partners and their relationships.”
Pornography itself appears to be like every other form of entertainment that is relatively accepted in society. But what may be injurious about it, is how porn can change the dynamic of relationships’, and views of sex.
From a forum I created to gain public insight on porn, over 93% of respondents shared that they watch, or have watched, pornography in the past. Over 92% of those view it through online media, such as videos and websites.
These weren’t the most shocking numbers, as the Porn Working Party – PWP, stated that “[o]ur three part youth focused research project from 2018-2020 showed that 1 in 4 young people had seen porn by the age of 12.”
Out of the most noticeable trends, incestuous storylines were mentioned by 50% of forum-takers. Even when anonymous, it appears that people have similar views when it comes to why pornography is consumed. Whether it’s an easy form of gratification and escapism, it’s normalised, and used for pleasure purposes, or is used as an outlet for curiosity.
Why my forum-takers think pornography is widely consumed. Source: Olivia Welsh / WordArt.
But is the reason why pornography is so political due to the acts that take place in the videos, or how it can affect those who are watching it?
“My concern is that pornography often actualises sexual patterns that emphasises violent and humiliating portrayals of sex, particularly towards women, rather than showcasing the beauty of sexual intimacy,” said Alba Kristiansen, a Couple and Sex Therapist.
“The main challenge with pornography lies in the age at which people start watching it and their psychological background such as OCD or experiences of trauma… There has to be a balance… Young people should understand that pornography is not a tool for learning about sex.”
A lot of respondents shared how pornography has shaped the way they approach sex. It can present an impracticable portrayal of intimacy, while also broadening and inspiring some of people’s personal activity. Essentially, a combination of harmful and gratifying content.
“It’s where I learnt all of the things I know about sex besides how to be safe… Something that isn’t really shown in porn is the better you are at communicating your wants and needs without criticising the other person, the more enjoyable it will be for you,” said A.C. (she/her).
“From someone who doesn’t watch porn, I can 100% tell if someone has learned how to approach sex through porn,” said an anonymous contributor.
What has been brought up, not only through these responses but in news, academia, and conversation, is how porn can negatively impact women. This is due to inherent violence, misogyny, and racially antagonising fetishism.
“[It is] due in no small part to the promotion of the industry through media, which is reinforced by cultural values rooted in patriarchy and the sexual conquest of women. On a personal level, most people just think it’s harmless and an easy way to get off without considering the implications,” said R (he/him).
It has been expressed that consumption of pornography has perpetuated a fear of intimacy in some individuals and has shaped certain kinks and moods that take effort to unlearn, especially those depicting abuse as a fantasy.
Since porn can thrive on shock value, and what “looks” the most pleasurable, it is not always easy for people to find something they respectfully enjoy.
“Mainstream pornography is always made for the male gaze and can be unethically made. As a female, I find I’m needing to search for other specific websites that cater to what is made for us, and ethically sourced,” said another anonymous contributor.
33% of forum-respondents mentioned that many of what they considered problematic regarding porn was associated with the exploitation of women. It is also due to some material being distributed without consent, which can find its way onto mainstream social media like Instagram, Snapchat, and Facebook.
Pornography can be used in a healthy way for individuals and couples, and can start conversations about sex that need to be had.
Source: Cottonbro Studio / Pexels.
But there also needs to be a focus on the proper education around safe and consensual intimacy, as research from PWP had found that 66% of young people had never spoken to an adult about pornography.
This means that they were left to discover it themselves, without proper restrictions and guidance put in place. Tackling a taboo topic alone can never be ideal.
Some couples may gain a lot from watching porn together. Source: Ketut Subiyanto / Pexels.
“Our work aims to empower parents and whānau with information, tools and resources so they can talk with their young people about tricky topics like porn in a way that works for rangatahi; talking with them, not at them or past them,” said PWP.
PWP is open to collaborating with stakeholders to create tools that support people’s learning and understanding of pornography and its implications.
“In 2022 we worked with [the] Ministry of Education to create Ka huri / te kōrero / Changing the conversations about pornography, an online module to support teachers to talk about pornography based on our research,” said PWP.
With films and television becoming more promiscuous, like ‘Euphoria’ and even ‘Bridgerton’, regulation of pornography is important to ensure that people, and children most of all, are safe from certain content when they aren’t educated on its effects. Regulation can occur in multiple ways, such as checking IDs when browsing sites, and ensuring through open conversations that people know of the differences between sexual liberation and buying into portrayals of sex that are unethical.
“Rather than kids finding a discarded Playboy, they are now able to watch brutal hardcore pornography everyday before they even hit puberty,” said another anonymous survey contributor.
The thing about sex, and getting off, is that it is within people’s rights. Wanting to have a good time, and connect with someone emotionally and/or physically, is so undeniably human that it is not even funny. Sometimes, porn can do the trick.
“It’s a service to a person’s basic desire of pleasure.”
“If you have a problem with porn doing something to people, then that is an issue you should have with all media,” said P.S
Pornography, including its distribution and consumption, will always be a political topic because everyone has different thoughts on it.
Everyone won’t always agree with each other, but what is important is making sure that people are educated, safe and having fun, and always keeping communication lines open.