Religion and Sex: Where do different people stand?

Photo by Gaelle Marcel on Unsplash. 

For most people, religion and sex are not that closely associated with one another. It is almost as if choosing one immediately negates the other. We’ve all heard about monks and nuns going their whole lives without a single romantic endeavour, but what are different religions’ actual views on sex?   

On Christianity and sex, UC’s own Chaplain, John Fox, told Canta: “Christianity would say that we’re made for one another. Pleasure, delight and to partner up to produce children. That is hugely important.”

Fox further said relationships, sex and intimacy are profound, sacred things which “speak to us about the future that God wants for the whole world.”  

He also spoke on the vulnerability involved in sex.  

“Because it’s so important, we’d also say it’s very vulnerable to have sex with someone. You’re entrusting your body to someone and also opening parts of your emotional life. The original word for sex in the Bible is ‘knowing somebody’ which is why there are some restrictions on it, waiting until marriage and so on. This is so that the intimacy of the relationship is safe. The intentions have to be pure and safe for both parties,” Fox said.   

Some of the biggest challenges that followers of Christianity face in today’s world seem to stem from the ever-changing social media and technological landscape, according to Fox. 

“We live in an instant culture. There are a bunch of hookup apps now which means you can have a lot more meaningless sex and it’s easier than ever before to do that,” he said.    

“Christianity comes from the viewpoint that each person has dignity, worth and meaning. Meaning relationships stem from that, instead of satisfying a need,” Fox continued.    

“Anything instant is always going to be more attractive to people compared to investing in something long-term.”  

There are eleven Buddhist Temples based all around Canterbury. Christchurch Buddhist Centre spokesperson, Claire Coveney told Canta that in Buddhism, sex is viewed as based around the principles of avoiding sexual misconduct and harm.  

“Monks are celibate, but Rinpoche [a term commonly used for teachers in Buddhism], can have sexual relations with anyone,” she said.  

“Early on it was a patriarchal religion and had very traditional views. Over time this changed with Nuns being included, who are also celibate. As cultures have changed, so have different views within Buddhism. Those views have definitely moved more to the Western style of Buddhism which is more of a middle ground. It’s a more holistic approach that takes into account different factors around sexual relationships, like homosexuality, having more than one partner and so forth.” 

On motivation to have sexual relationships, Coveney said mutual consent is the most important thing in Buddhist society.   

“There’s also the precepts of not harming others, avoiding the poisons of attachment, jealousy or anger, all those things affect how we view sexual relationships. Being wise when having sexual relationships is important.”   

Buddhism has some of the earliest evidence of religious attitudes towards sex in religious texts, along with Jainism and Hinduism. However, Jainism and Hinduism differentiate themselves from Buddhism’s views of sex as they see sex as something that is preserved for marriage.  

Similarly, Islam, Sikhism, Jewism, Jehovah’s Witness and the previously discussed, Christianity all have similar teachings around preserving sex for marriage. These religions primarily make up the overall religious population of Aotearoa. According to Workforce Data’s 2021 Te Taunaki Public Service Census, 46.7% of respondents said they were affiliated with a religion, with the top five most affiliated religions being Christianity, Hinduism, Māori Religion, Islam, and Buddhism.   

On the flip side, there are a host of less common religious denominations that originate from Pagan belief systems that encourage having an active and healthy sex life outside of marriage. Modern Pagan denominations like Roman Polytheistic Reconstructionism, Hellenism, Slavic Native Faith, and Celtic Reconstructionist Paganism all share practices that promote spiritual and physical fertility. As opposed to more common religious teachings around maintaining ‘purity’ and waiting until marriage.   

In today’s world, it seems there are millions of different ideas, beliefs, opinions and ways to approach life. For some people, religion is a huge part of their lives. For others, not so much. Regardless of your beliefs around religion and sex, it’s important to practice sexual safety and respect. People’s choices about sex are deeply personal, because of this acceptance and understanding is needed to help create a safer environment for all.