tHE 'it's 3AM somewhere' SANDWICH

By Liam Stretch (he/him)

This is a sandwich not for the faint of heart, but honestly, it hits the spot when you really need it to. Unfortunately, this is not a vegan option, as the central ingredient is maple bacon, but you could definitely substitute it for plant-based bacon.  

The old adage, don’t drink and fry, is wise advice. I’ve found myself a couple of times forgetting that I had elements on in a flat when I felt gourmet while drunk and decided to do my noodles stovetop. In an effort to avoid such calamity, this recipe utilises two of the safest kitchen gadgets – the toastie machine and the air fryer. I’d be surprised if you don’t already have both of these in your flat, but if you are yet up to transition into 2021, you can purchase the latter at Kmart for $79, a sound investment when split across your housemates, and you can have a toastie machine in every room at only $9.  

Anyway, this sandwich gets its name from its purpose. Whether drunk, high or stone-cold sober, this is a sandwich pleasing at any hour of the day and guaranteed to soak up whatever your liver is rapidly trying to flush out. 

You will need: 

  • Two rashers of streaky bacon 
  • Maple syrup 
  • Chilli flakes 
  • Sandwich sliced gherkins 
  • A handful of potato chips (I used Ready Salted) 
  • Mustard 
  • Mayonnaise 
  • Cheese 
  • A hash brown 
  • 2 slices of bread 

How to: 

  • Place both rashers in an air fryer – line basket with baking paper or tinfoil – and douse in maple syrup and a touch of brown sugar. Sprinkle on a good amount of chilli flakes and a little salt. Place the hash brown in the basket also. Cook for around 20 minutes on 200°C, or until the bacon is caramelised and the hash brown is golden.  
  • When these are nearly cooked, place two slices of bread on the sandwich press to lightly toast. Put mustard on one piece and mayonnaise on the other. Once the bacon is cooked, place it on the mustard side and the hash brown on the mayo side. Place two sliced pickles and two slices of cheese on the hash brown side and a handful of chips on the other. 
  • Bring the two slices together. Toast for around 5-8 minutes.  Enjoy.