CANTA Issue #12, 2017

Letter To My First Year Self
Joshua: B.Tch.Ln

Hey Joshua. Yes, Joshua, as in you. I’m here to talk to you about your studies at UC. I’ll get to your current hairstyle later.

It’s your first week at uni. This happened fast. My first advice to you is to go to the Student Services right now and withdraw.
Yep. Drop out.
This is not for you. Not right now, anyway. You need a couple more years. I’m not saying you won’t further your education, but you know that niggling feeling in the back of your mind? The one that makes you feel as though you might be doing the wrong thing? Listen to it. Train in what you want to do. Don’t be a teacher because everyone tells you you’ll be good at it.

Do what you think you’ll be good at. Train in what interests you. Not what will land you an “okay job”. You’ll not use this degree whatsoever. Blah. Your daughter is starting school and you have always tried to overcompensate for being a young dad. Chill out. She’s fine. Just watch High School Musical with her and enjoy being a dad.
P.S – she’s an absolute force to be reckoned with, and has more brains than you could fathom.
Good job, Joshua.

Speaking of brains, you will use your brain eventually. Just remember that wearing a degree as a badge of honour isn’t worth it, if you aren’t happy. Oh also! Get online. Buy up large on bitcoin. Use your course related costs on them. Shut up, don’t question it. It’s a thing. I’m serious. DON’T TOUCH THEM until 2016 at least.

Last thing: that hair doesn’t make you look like you’re in Panic! At The Disco. It’s more Anxiety! At The RSA.

Eat more leafy greens,

2017 Joshua

Issue Two: The Greasy Wok 4