fairy bread

By Liam Stretch (he/him)

When one considers their childhood, and foods that made them who they are, few are as transformative and life-defining as Fairy Bread. It happens to also be the most Pride-filled food I can think of. 

You will need: 

  • As many slices of white bread as you desire 
  • Hundreds and thousands of Hundreds & Thousands  
  • Butter or more ethical choice if you like, but butter definitely works best with the unique taste of the toppings involved 
  • A smile 

How to: 

Prepare you bread. Take a slice or two out of the packet and place on aesthetically pleasing surface, because you will photograph these when they are done. 

Apply a generous amount of butter/spread – as exciting alternative, you can add Nutella – and sprinkle on your sprinkles. Do add a little more than you’ll need because some will fall off. Gently pat down the sprinkles to get them to adhere to the glutenous vehicle of flavour. Then shake off any excess. By gently cementing Hundred & Thousands in place, you will ensure the perfect amount for optimal pleasure. 

Cut into whatever shapes you prefer – triangles are best. Also, I have it on good authority that you really should remove crusts, otherwise it is inauthentic. Personally, I don’t mind the crusts, as I’m poor and shan’t be wasting any ounce of food.  

The final step is to enjoy them with your many – or zero – friends and remember the good old days when you didn’t pay rent and the world was not faced with an overwhelming array of challenges beyond our reach.