How To Deal With A Bad Kisser
- RE-EVALUATE THE SITUATION
Is this person really worth kissing? Well… if you think they are worth it then let’s press on.
- ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY SURE?
- FIRST WE NEED TO PERFORM AN ALLERGY CHECK
Carrying swabs for this purpose is useful. If swabs are not at hand then proceed on a line of inquiry as follows: “Allergies…?” A sufferer of nuts does not want to sample a mouth full of chicken satay, no matter how delicious it is.
- KISS AROUND THEIR FACE
Avoid that tongue that is being used in such nasty ways.
- MAKE A GENTLE APPROACH
Ease into their mouth, slow and steady like. This way technique can be corrected. Reward good mouth-work. Say “Mmm” or “well done!”
- IF THEY’RE NOT TERRIBLY ATTRACTIVE…
Use your hands to cover as much of their face as possible. This will lessen the embarrassment and provide a more fulfilling kiss.
- FINALLY, IF NOTHING HELPS
Drink more alcoholic beverages and staff as many mints into their face as possible, The combined sensation should overcome any bad kiss.