After a long hard day of getting swoll in the gym and tanning my rig to perfection, I chucked on my best pair of stubbies to see what this lovely broad had in store for me. After deleting a significant amount of piss pre-date, I was sufficiently lubricated and ready to give this a go. Like the gentleman I am, I delivered myself to the restaurant 15 minutes early, just to make sure she wouldn’t have to wait on her own (boyfriend material). The lass turned up around 10 minutes later, moist and ready for a night of activities. We decided to have a look around the establishment before we ate, but realising that it was way too classy, we decided to go and pick up a couply bottles of merlot from countdown, riding our way to a 2 person Vietnamese BYO just around the corner. We ordered a great feed, and I was thoroughly impressed by the sheer amount of food she could consume, I was really starting to get into this girl. However she wouldn’t budge. I used all my best one liners including “you don’t look too shit tonight” and “you can fit a lot in that mouth can’t you”, but none of them helped me get to the next base. In a moment of desperateness, I went to the bathroom, quickly got on tinder, swiped right to every man and his dog, and effectively chatted some fresher-to-be to pick me up. In a swift attempt to avoid being seen, I popped out the back door, left her the bill and continued to top the night off how every lad dreams off – vomiting in the car and being told to piss off you pervert. They say chivalry is dead, but I just think girls need to lower their standards.