CANTA Issue #3, 2017

Issue three sees us at The Goathouse 1

Surprisingly The Goathouse was pretty tidy. We spied a few made beds, and even a copy or two of CANTA for good measure. Notable features: stadium stacked couches, bulk lots of canola oil in the pantry and the freezer in the bathroom.

In their words, they are “nine people doing not a hell of a lot with their lives. Find us on Sunday afternoons watching the Vodafone Warriors roll to another top eight season.”


Matthew Poole, 44 – City boy of the flat, diehard chiefs fan. An avid bird watcher, he has owned numerous bird baths.

Jarred Durling, 21 – Worst cook, dirtiest flatmate. Jarred is fully operational at all times. Cousin of Suliasi Vunivalu, Joe Rockocko, Albert Vete and Blake Gibson.

Daniel Grimes, 21 – And in the red corner weighing in at 195 pounds Daniel ‘The Grim Reaper’ Grimes. 0-3 against himself. Straight out of his cot. Fresh from Dunedin.

Michael Foley, 21 – Bernie Madoff’s youngest son. Rent comes in late regularly, fresh from a Swiss bank account via a Cayman Island trust fund. Founder and guarantor of the $725 Warriors top-8 syndicate.

Rhian Ward, 21 – Lead singer in his cover band “Wardy and the Dustpans”. Finishes faster than Nick Willis. Quote “I’m the lead singer in a band would you like to come hear?”. Did we mention he’s in a band? EP to come.

Callum Wisbey, 21 – Callum does the bins. Biggest heavyweight at all events especially all ages ones. You will find Callum facing the wrong way at most Uni events.

Hugh Knight, 21 – G’day Hugh Knight here, probably just got my phone on silent. Shaved his head in year 13. Often over-tired on certain weekends.

Oliver Jones-Allen, 21 – Old as the hills, has been round the block. Best friend of Gordon especially on a hot day in Bombay. Needs to relearn the English language. Proverbial Ace. Go the Makos.

Scott Bevin, 21 – 2 metre Peter is the current UC breast stroke champion. Is a huge advocate of dry bagels down the road. Doesn’t know what his girlfriend’s names is, and not sure why she’s leaving or where she’s going to depart to. #BS4L

To get your flat featured on Flat Famous, email canta@canta.co.nz

Issue Five: Tiny House 6