How To Not Be A Dick At The Concert

  1. OBSERVE MOSH ETIQUETTE

Get there early if you want to be at the front with your fellow sweaty gig-goers, or slowly make your way to the pit. Don’t be that annoying, inconsiderate ass that pushes other money-paying peeps out of the way with reckless abandon to secure yourself a prime spot. It’s a mosh-pit, not fucking UFC, so let people have a good time.

  1. DRESS APPROPRIATELY

Don’t wear something dickish like a massive hat. And unless you quite like the feeling of a stiletto heel being wedged between your exposed jandal toes, I’d choose function over form in the shoe area too. Other than that, as you were.

  1. USE SIDELINES TO CARRY DRINKS

If you are that prick who buys four drinks and carries them directly through the crowd, spilling the contents as you go, you need to STOP because you are in serious dick territory. The periphery is your friend when it comes to drinks breaks; minimum spillage = maximum value for money.

  1. DON’T GO ALL CONOR MACGREGOR ON PEOPLE

There will always be dicks who spill their drink on you, push passed, or try and incite something untoward. Be the bigger man/lady and brush it off. Don’t let them ruin your night/clean criminal record.

  1. AND FINALLY…

Keep your bodily fluids, hands, and objects you feel like throwing to yourself, and help people out if they look like they’re in trouble. Also stop your mates from going home with a 2.