CERA boss Roger Sutton delights UC students by whacking off donkey

July 28th 2011 by Sebastian Boyle

Canterbury Earthquake Recovery Authority (CERA) CEO Roger Sutton ended his visit to the University of Canterbury last Friday by assaulting a donkey, spurred on by the cheers and support of students.

The donkey – a papier-mâché creation – served as the final victim in the UCSA's daily Winterlude series, in which students were invited to try their hands at "whacking off" piñatas packed full of cash, lollies, and condoms.

The violent act followed a talk Sutton gave to students at the AFT tent about Christchurch's post-earthquake recovery, and the contributions they could make.

During the talk, students were provided with forms on which they could record ideas for CERA's Recovery Strategy.

The best suggestion received was promised a prize appealing to students' baser destructive instincts: the opportunity to win five minutes operating a wrecking ball.

But while this prospect proved popular with the students who attended the talk, Sutton had less luck with the piñata.

Though Sutton applied three mighty strikes to the donkey's rainbow hide, he failed to breach its surface.

Noticeably perturbed, he was informed by the attendant that it usually only surrendered after the second or third contestant had their way with it.

This prophecy was borne out, a subsequent participant finally succeeding in tearing the donkey apart as Sutton cycled away in his trademark hi-vis, tail slightly between legs.