LUCKY DIP #6

CANTA issue #6, 2017

Lucky Dip #2 4

ONE SIDE:

Throughout my four years at UC, I had never had the pleasure of going on a date with a real girl. So, when I heard about the GC’s new blind date initiative, I jumped on the opportunity and put my name forward. After weeks and weeks of waiting impatiently I finally got the call. It was on.

As per, I arrived at 7 pm on the dot to meet whom I hoped would be my future girlfriend/wife and mother of my children. She was 7 minutes late. That’s strike one. Already our date is not off to a good start.

I forced her tardy behavior to the back of my mind, and presented her with a beautiful bouquet of flowers that I had arranged. She smiled. Instant success.     We danced the awkward dance of trying to work out if we had any mutual friends… None, this isn’t going anywhere quickly, definitely not off to a good start. Only ten minutes into the date and the conversation was lacking already, that’s strike two.

There was a brief glimmer of hope shining through all the shit, when I managed to extract that she was studying engineering, a very promising degree with a good source of income. I became excited and optimistic about fulfilling my life long dreams of being a stay at home Dad! But this positivity did not last long.

Strike three, the worst offence so far. After all the awkward chit chat and many long pauses, the dinner menus were presented to us. Thank god. Food. I was rather hungry and started looking at all the options. My date, left the menu unopened and immediately ordered seafood pizza. Unbelievable, I had to stop myself from getting up and leaving then and there. That was it, as far as I was concerned the date was over. But as my Nan taught me, you must always be respectful to women. So, I calmly sat it out, made polite/awkward small talk for another twenty minutes and thanked her for a lovely evening. I informed her that this was where the night was to end, just in case she thought I was that kind of guy and put out on the first date. And that was my first and only ever experience of a real date with a girl.

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THE OTHER SIDE:

On Thursday night, I volunteered myself for a blind date, just to spice up my love life a bit.

I’ve been suffering through a bit of a drought recently so wanted to put myself out there. My flat mates helped me all afternoon to get ready. We picked out a lovely floral dress which my flatmates said complemented my figure. My flatmates are the best.

All of a sudden it was time to go, butterflies erupted through my stomach. When I walked in the room I instantly knew who my date was.

He was dashing, brown hair, cute puppy dog eyes. Just how I like a man. He had brought me some flowers, that I’ve kept next to my bed. The conversation flowed; we discussed civil engineering, mutual friends and I thought there was a very obvious physical attraction between us. But before the attraction had a chance to blossom, he dropped a bombshell on me…. he was moving to Australia in a week.

That meant no luck for the future between my anonymous romance and I. Instead I finished the night by drinking a few too many wines and going home to finish my assignment that was yet to be started. Not the end I was looking for unfortunately. But just a word to all you lonely women out there, I would so recommend an experience like this. It was a night of nights to remember and I would personally like to the thank the GC and Spags for putting on such an occasion for myself. Hopefully, I meet the man of my dreams sometime soon. I’ll be out looking for my very own prince charming. If anyone wants an unforgettable date with me, I regularly attend Mono and do not mind a cute fresher.

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Lucky Dip #3 1