Flat Famous: THE GREASY WOK

CANTA Issue #2, 2017

WHO’S WHO: The Greasy Wok never came back to me with their names, so let’s call them all Becky.

Becky, 19 – likes unpicking taxidermy and drinking Diesel

Beckii, 19 – never has ankle socks that match and loves a raw onion

Beckae, 19 and a half – president of SocSoc – a club for people who join clubs

Bekk-E, 19 – moved out half way through our photoshoot

B’ecki, 19 – has a Bee Movie tattoo on her lower back

Behkhi, 19 next month – the flat baby who loves nappies and being fed mushed food. MAMA!

This issue’s FLAT FAMOUS is the horrendously named Greasy Wok. This was an interesting one – a huge house with way too many bedrooms, two of which look suspiciously like a double garage. There wasn’t a door on its hinge, or a wall without a hole in it. Our highlight was being burnt by someone’s out of control cooking, and the bed made out of pallets. Her room was sweet!

“As you can imagine, everyone is quite skeptical about whether we will last or not, including ourselves, so we needed to get in FLAT FAMOUS before we inevitably fall apart.

‘The Greasy Wok’ was a flat name we inherited – there’s three flats in a row named similar and we’re the last. You go get ‘greased at the Wok’.”

“Becky’s room smells like garnish.”

“…What? Garnish?”

“Yeah the stuff you put on wood…”

“I think you mean varnish.”

“Our landlord lives out the back of us and there’s all this stuff everywhere, like old ovens, couches and shit. Please don’t put that in the magazine though! “

I doubt your landlord reads CANTA.

To get your flat featured on Flat Famous, email canta@canta.co.nz

Issue Two: The Greasy Wok 4