How to avoid freshers

FIRST, A DISCLAIMER:

Being a Fresher isn’t all bad. It’s something that everyone has to do. It’s just that every other year group at Uni finds you so fucking annoying (no offence). To avoid the drunken/spewing/loud/obnoxious species of 17 and 18-year-olds found crawling around Uni during O Week, otherwise known as “freshers”, there are some key places and events that you should steer clear of (or avoid at all costs – it’s up to you).

 

  1. DO NOT GO TO THE HALLS

Possibly the most important places to steer clear of are Uni Hall, R&R, College House, Bishop Julius – you get my drift. Look for the signs that you might be close to one, Maidstone Road, Ilam Homestead, and Ilam Road. In fact, best avoid the length of Ilam Road altogether, unless you’re heading to Captain Ben’s or have to, you know, get to Uni.

 

  1. STEER CLEAR OF THE TOGA PARTY

Unless you’re creepin’ on some Fresher meat there is no real reason for you to be there.

 

  1. STAY AWAY FROM THE FOUNDRY

If you are dead set on only socializing with those who are “experienced in the ways of UC”, then perhaps take your mature self to the Shilling Club. Or you could also leave your socializing to the Cass, because they can’t get in there, HAHA.

 

  1. OTHER SUGGESTIONS FOR THOSE HELL BENT ON AVOIDING FIRST YEARS:
  • Staying as far away from C & A blocks
  • Running and hiding from those who are walking around looking dazed and confused
  • Start hanging out with Cheryl de la Rey