Flat Famous: Zeta Omega Theta

CANTA Issue #8, 2017

Let us tell you just how bloody spectacular we are. First off, we identify as a sorority (ΖΩθ) as there eight of us girls all living in the one flat, each with very vibrant personalities. Our other flat names include ‘The Parkstone Bar and Spa’ and ‘Bangers and Mash’. Flat features may include but are not limited to complementary condoms on entry, plus a whole lot blue-tacked to the wall, spelling out our sorority name (we like to promote safety). Also a lovely balcony (aka MASH HQ) and our prized deck out back, overlooking the creek. Beautifully positioned on the creek’s edge is ‘the cabin’, which is actually just Jemma’s sleep out.

Who’s Who:


Flat vegan. Unfortunately there’s always one. Also a coffee enthusiast, she is scary without it (sometimes even with it). Jordan is very stubborn and swears profusely, which is not a good combo.

Well if Jordo is the coffee enthusiast then Tash has to be the biggest advocate for cheese. Definitely the mum of the flat, cries at everything. She is also a born again fresher.

Flat Dad, not often seen without a diesel in hand. Then again not often seen without ‘ other-MASH-half’

Aka bridge builder, engineer, engineering student. Did you know she’ s on ENSOC? Huge fan of her side profile or terrified
of cameras? We aren’ t sure but either way she is never looking in photos.

The flat pyromaniac. Recently singed her hair and eyelashes when attempting to light the gas fire and it blew up in her face. Ha. Good thing the flames didn’t catch her beloved flannelette pajamas.

Energy levels out of ten would have to be five hundred billion. Scored ‘ Autism likely’ on a screening quiz.

Despite her shiny brunette locks and 9.0 GPA, she is hands down the most dense of us all. Has been
known to ask questions such as “Is coconut milk dairy??”.

Manages to fit 20 hours of study, 8 hours of work, 5 gym classes and 10 hours sleep into one day. Therefore, we call her Phantom but don’ t worry, she is home for dinner on Tuesdays.
Lucky Dip #3 1