A Heart to Hart* with Leigh Hart

My formal meeting with Leigh Hart (aka That Guy) is outside the library steps, however, we had informally met earlier that afternoon while I was still dressed in a six year-old girl's school pinafore. Yes, my fourth year FOMO led me to squeeze into this tight outfit and attend yet another infamous ENSOC BBQ before the interview - by luck, I also scored a photo with my comedic hero before rushing back to campus and changing into more appropriate attire so I looked somewhat decent and more like the journalist I aspire to be.

Hart describes his entry into television as one by default. A Cantab born and bred, he made his debut television appearance as a world-renowned snail trainer competing in the Snail Olympics as a bullshit guest on Sports Cafe.

Hart landed the role after a visit to a flat where he was introduced to Sports Café personality Marc Ellis.

"Eventually we were in the car driving to sky studios with a Tupperware container full of snails on my lap," Hart recalls. He says it was ridiculous, and back then Sports Café had no live audience; all he had was Lana Coc-Kroft and the rest of the studio thinking he was just as ridiculous.

And the rest, they say, is history.

He was asked back the week later to continue the role of "That Guy" doing random weekly reports for Sports Cafe.

From there a character developed, but having been swayed by the comedy factor more than the sport side of the show, Hart proposed a half hour comedy show to the Sky network. The first series of Moon TV was made on $8000, and later Hart approached TVNZ to carry the show on, which included such features as Speedo Cops, The Hamster Man, Ice Doctors, Dr. 90210, Speed Cooking, and Bookzone. His most recent escapade was Leigh Hart's Mysterious Planet.

Hart and his team are hoping to work on a show during the 2011 Rugby World Cup called Rugby Mundo (named that because it sounds really international). It will be filmed at a flat just down the road from Eden Park with all interviews done from the house.

12 questions with Leigh Hart

1. Are you and Ric Salizzo. (other bald guy on Sports Cafe) brothers?
No. He wishes he was.

2. Does your wife let you cook?
Yeah, she does. Funnily enough I actually do more cooking than her – actually, I better not say that. The speed cooking is funny because she does. I should probably cook more; it's the clean-up that's the problem – we both should cook more.

3.How did Jo Seager cope with your speed cooking segments?
Yeah good, we really got down and dirty. I mentioned "let's do this speed-cooking thing", she said "okay", and I said we'll probably do it in a flat somewhere that's already trashed. She said "oh no, let's do it at mine". I warned her. She's a really good sport to be honest.

4. Did anyone on Sports Cafe ever get with Eva the Bulgaria?
No comment – only me, but she wouldn't know.

5. What do you think is Hone Hawira's best physical attribute?
Probably his thick skin.

6. What was the most awkward moment in the Maui?
When we were doing the cooking sequence, when Hath fell nude out of the caravan door – that's been stopped on YouTube, actually, because of that nudity scene, you know. We keep loading it up again and they keep taking it off.
Funnily enough the reason we did that was because we had just finished filming coast to coast (for Moon TV) and we spent about three hours driving into all these West Coast farms trying to buy a goat because we wanted a goat to come out of the toilet. So when we couldn't get hold of a goat we had to tell Hath he had do it nude.

7. How many complaints have your shows received?
Only about three; not that many. We did a scene where I was a blind waiter, [and we] had some complaints from that. The baby whisperer, but again the joke was on us; the baby got the better of me. I think I just happened to find it funny when the joke is on us. If ever I have had a legitimate complaint it kind of bums me out a bit because it means they didn't get it. A big one was the Bigfoot community in America – which is fairly weird as it is – we were taking the piss out of it; we got heaps of emails.

8. Do you know Morgan Perry?
[confused] No, who's that?
[Awkwardly] Ahh, don't worry; okay, next question.

9. Who would you turn gay for?
Well, who haven't I turned gay for? It would have to be... can I make it my twin brother?

Do you have a twin brother?
No... Hone Harawira and the other guy that hates gays. Brian Tamaki.

10. Which is your favourite Hellers product?
Probably the little cheesy sausage things. Actually, the shaved chicken.

Really, is that actually nice?
No, not really. I get a dumping of meat every so often, which is great, but it doesn't come with a gym membership.

11.Who do you think will win this season's of NZ Next Top Model?
Arihana, because I think she will grow into her looks over the course of the programme.

12. Who would you cast me as in your shows?
A speedo cop. We will get you in as a female speedo cop. We will get you a name... you will have to be Sergeant Kronopolis – just looks like back in three generations maybe you had some Greek or something – and it just works, It's not quite right and it's not quite wrong.

(* The editor would like to apologise for this appalling wordplay)