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What happens when you disagree with the mark for your assignment? What do you do if you get sick the day of your exam? If you have tooth ache but can't afford a dentist? Don't worry, kids. All your worries will be soothed with the love and kindness of the Agony Ants – otherwise known as Johanna and Liana, the Advocacy and Welfare ladies in the UCSA office.

I see car parks all round this campus. Can I park here?

Yep, BUT make sure you get a parking permit first. Permits for the semester or the year are available from UC security at 114 Ilam Road – the house with the white picket fence. For shorter stays, you can get $5 day passes from the Bookshop, Security, Kirkwood Cafe, Collective Café and Alibi or park for up to two hours by using the Pay + Display units near the car parks.

I haven't received my Studylink Allowance yet and I may be contemplating prostitution to get by...

Bro, again? Why don't you ask us about our Foodbank? It's kind of a bridging service for when you have money on the way, but none at the moment. Just make sure you call Studylink to ensure you have completed your application first. That'll help smooth the process. We don't want you to go hungry, lass.

Starting school seemed like it would be easy but it's totally overwhelming. Could I get some clarification please?

The UCSA Advocacy and Welfare department would be happy to point you in the right direction for any of your needs. For Advocacy, email johanna.day@ucsa.canterbury.ac.nz. For Welfare email liana.foster@ucsa.canterbury.ac.nz. Or feel free to stop by. If we can't help, we are likely to know who can!

Where the hell is that? I thought your building was red stickered or something.

True that. We are now the Undercroft of the James Hight Library – that's the central Library ground floor.

Send your questions to agonyants@canta.co.nz and we just might answer them.