Columns

As a first-time voter two elections ago, I was struck by the brilliant advertising campaign of the Naked Orange Man, because who better to encourage new voters to partake in their adult duty than a cartoon character? The naked orange man had everything to entice a young voter:

1. He was colourful. Studies have shown that young people respond to bright colours. I mean, there's a reason there's no grey Wiggle, or a black Wiggle.

2. He was naked (though he looks like a Ken doll), and that means he's probably the life of the party. Maybe streaking will once more become part of New Zealand sporting culture (honestly, without streaking, test cricket is about as exciting as watching grass grow with people playing cricket on it).

3. He was a high-tech 3D computer graphic.

But 2005 was a much different place than today. Back then, a litre of fuel cost a dollar-twenty, Aunty Helen Clark was (and remained) in power (despite a bunch of Young Nationals heckling her off our campus), and at Canterbury there were heavy staff cuts across the University – especially in the fine and liberal arts. A very different world indeed.

In 2005, 3D modelling wasn't cheap; the Electoral Office probably blew their budget on the naked orange man, and because of that, have been trying to get their money's worth ever since. The problem is, the Naked Orange Man is no longer very high-tech. In fact, nowadays, any 13-year old could download a freeware computer modelling programme and make a naked orange man of their own, including modelling his junk. In this sense, the Electoral Office is like Celine Dion – once a big star, now she's withering away in Vegas, desperate to hold on to her fame while she slowly transforms into an old leathery sack with lipstick.

Anyway, it all goes much deeper than this. It turns out that the New Zealand Electoral Office Naked Office Man is the very same individual as the Dutch recycling mascot called "Plastic Hero".

What does this all mean? Is the Dutch mascot so concerned with recycling that he has recycled himself? Is the Electoral Office trying to cover their losses by making their naked orange man work extra hours between elections as a garbage man? Or perhaps, just perhaps, there too many people graduating from universities with computer animation degrees who still need to be employed, so they are inundating society with 3D animated cartoons for companies as a substitute for a truly thoughtful advertising campaign? I mean, not everyone can work at Pixar.

I'm no media studies student, and perhaps I'm sounding like an old man telling kids to get off my lawn, but all the effort in getting people to vote seems a little wasted. If it were up to me, I'd simply buy up a few thousand billboards across the country with the words: "Don't be a douche. Vote". On the other hand, from the Government's perspective, gullible people who are easily influenced by a suggestion from a low-budget generic cartoon character will make great citizens.