How To Deal With A Bad Kisser

  1. RE-EVALUATE THE SITUATION

Is this person really worth kissing? Well… if you think they are worth it then let’s press on.

  1. ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY SURE?

Ok.

  1. FIRST WE NEED TO PERFORM AN ALLERGY CHECK

Carrying swabs for this purpose is useful. If swabs are not at hand then proceed on a line of inquiry as follows: “Allergies…?” A sufferer of nuts does not want to sample a mouth full of chicken satay, no matter how delicious it is.

  1. KISS AROUND THEIR FACE

Avoid that tongue that is being used in such nasty ways.

  1. MAKE A GENTLE APPROACH

Ease into their mouth, slow and steady like. This way technique can be corrected. Reward good mouth-work. Say “Mmm” or “well done!”

  1. IF THEY’RE NOT TERRIBLY ATTRACTIVE…

Use your hands to cover as much of their face as possible. This will lessen the embarrassment and provide a more fulfilling kiss.

  1. FINALLY, IF NOTHING HELPS

Drink more alcoholic beverages and staff as many mints into their face as possible, The combined sensation should overcome any bad kiss.