60 Things to do while in isolation

  1. Read a book (remember those?)
  2. Become Tiktok famous
  3. Play Sims
  4. Play Club Penguin
  5. Subscribe to a free month of Pornhub Premium
  6. Masturbate
  7. Do loads of sit ups and come out of this lockdown really ripped.
  8. Alternatively, do no sit ups and get fat.
  9. Write a book/screenplay/poems/whatever.
  10. Get really good at rapping.
  11. Learn to backflip
  12. Break the ‘don’t screw the crew’ rule (not recommended if you live at home with family).
  13. Explore your sexuality
  14. Go to the supermarket
  15. Cook
  16. Bake
  17. Eat
  18. Build a pillow fort
  19. Rearrange all your furniture.
  20. Clean your car
  21. Go on Omegle (yes it still exists).
  22. Smoke
  23. Become an amateur pornstar from the comfort of your bedroom (OnlyFans).
  24. Sell feet pics
  25. Get really dressed up to go to the living room.
  26. Ring up government hotlines with your suggestions on COVID-19 cures.
  27. Put your dick in the vacuum cleaner.
  28. Give yourself tattoos with pins and pen ink.
  29. Masturbate more
  30. Sad Masturbate
  31. Happy Masturbate
  32. Watch ‘primitive technology’ videos on YouTube.
  33. Take a walk
  34. Take a walk and photograph things.
  35. Find your old Tamagotchi and see if that thing is still alive.
  36. Lie down and think about embarrassing things you did 10 years ago.
  37. Let all your body hair grow.
  38. Start an unhealthy obsession with Instagram thots.
  39. Abuse celebrities online because they’re in lockdown in massive mansions.
  40. Slowly destroy the relationships you have with the people you live with.
  41. Steal the neighbours pet and claim it as your own.
  42. Do some sexting
  43. Paint your nails
  44. Put on a facemask
  45. Generally just clean yourself
  46. Get out all your shirts and t-shirts and see how many you can put on at the same time.
  47. Call someone you haven’t talked to in a long time and immediately remember why you haven’t talk to them in a long time.
  48. Day drink
  49. Night drink
  50. Screw up your sleep schedule with TV, porn, and gaming.
  51. See how many M&Ms you can fit in your mouth.
  52. Look up conspiracy theories and keep researching them until you’ve convinced yourself they’re true.
  53. Go hunting for psychedelic mushrooms.
  54. Practise your defence plans for when people start looting your house.
  55. Watch every single episode of The Simpsons on Disney+.
  56. Argue with people in the Stuff comments section.
  57. Cook noodles, get some wine, and have a BYO with your friends via Skype.
  58. Give yourself a new hairstyle.
  59. Have a PowerPoint presentation competition.
  60. Build your own boy/girlfriend using items found around the house.